


This is Why You Put a Tie on the Doorknob

by Topographical_Map_Of_Utah



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Fluff and Crack, How Do I Tag, M/M, Trans Poe Dameron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 16:30:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13368660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah/pseuds/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah
Summary: Finn and Poe are just trying to have sex while Kes is trying to work out what they should have for dinner. Awkwardness ensues.





	This is Why You Put a Tie on the Doorknob

"Ow..."

"Sorry, just-"

"There. Put your hand _there._ "

"Here?"

"That's not where I'm pointing."

"Wait, _here?"_

"No, babe, lemme-"

Poe grabbed his hand and Finn cussed, steadying himself on the rickety old headboard. Unfortunately, as he was trying to wriggle his way back into position something in the bed let out a sharp squeak. They paused for a moment, waiting for either the mattress or bedframe to give out, and when nothing happened they both huffed out a sigh of relief, Finn looking down at Poe and cocking an eyebrow. He couldn't work under these conditions.

"Okay, there works too, I guess..."

"Does it? Does it really?" Finn asked, balancing himself on top of Poe, trying to stay inside of him. It was a bit of a struggle with the tiny damn bed they were perched on. He felt like he was trying to have sex on a tightrope. "Please explain to me why we're fucking in a single bed. It's too goddamn small."

"Look, the other option is that we fuck in my dad's bed, and that ain't happening."

"Would it be that bad, though?" Finn cast a glance around Poe's childhood bedroom, his eyebrows creeping up towards his hairline. They hadn't done much to set the mood before stripping down, honestly. Usually Finn paid no mind to their surroundings, but it was hard to ignore the fact they were lying on Poe's ratty old X-wing bedsheets, and that his Rogue One posters were still stuck to the wall with yellowing tape. Not exactly the honeymoon suite.

"Is that a Stormtrooper action figure?"

"Focus, jackass." Poe cupped Finn's face in his hands and pulled him close, pressing their foreheads together and clenching around his cock. Maybe that would catch his attention. It usually did. "You are literally inside a vagina right now, how are you not at least a bit invested..."

"I am invested. And do you have to say it like that?"

"Like what? Your dick's inside a vagina. That's literally it."

"How are you making sex unsexy?"

"Hey, I'm not wrong..."

"That doesn't mean it's right-"

That argument was cut short by a shuffling step outside and someone rapping on the door. They both stiffened, turning towards the sound in horrified synchrony. They hadn't managed to stir up much of a romantic vibe, sure, but what little there was immediately went up in smoke. Maybe fucking while they were visiting Poe's dad's was a bad idea.

"Poe? You in there?" Kes' voice was a little hoarse, as if he had just woken up. He had a habit of staying up all night working on old ships and then passing out for a good chunk of the next day. So for him this was like waking up at the crack of down. Unfortunate timing, as usual.

"Yep. Hi, dad..." Poe mumbled, preemptively clamping his hand over Finn's mouth. He tended to get giggly at the most inopportune moments. At one point he had burst into a fit of laughter during a meeting because he remembered the time Poe had called Hux 'General Hugs'. Very dignified. "Can you come back in a little while?"

"I'll just be a minute, kid." When they heard that promise Finn and Poe bit back groans, knowing for a fact that Kes' minutes tended to drag on for quite awhile. Lots of pauses between words. "What d'you want for dinner? I was thinking burgers. Got to get rid of that ground beef...Is Finn there? Does he want burgers?"

"Uh." Poe looked up at Finn, a blush high in his cheeks. Kes seemed to have a gift for finding them in compromising situations while remaining in blissful ignorance himself. "Nah, he went for a walk. Burgers sound great." he called through the door. It was locked, right? He prayed it was locked.

"Okay, but he eats burgers, right?" Kes always tended to worry about Finn's eating habits, seeing as the first time they met a few months ago Finn had admitted to only having eaten chocolate once in his life. His limited diet was apparently a cause for constant concern. "Please tell me he can eat burgers."

"He eats anything, dad..." Finn stuck his tongue out at Poe, though he couldn't really argue. One time he had eaten a peanut butter sandwich someone had spilled mayo on. He had low standards. "Burgers sound great, okay?"

"Hm. What about dessert? I was gonna make pie." Kes yawned, scratching the dog as he waddled by. He was looking pretty overfed. "Not sure what kind, though. Friend of mine gave me a healthy apple pie recipe but I dunno about it..."

"Can we have strawberry pie?" Finn whispered in Poe's ear as Kes yammered on about the various crusts and fillings, and then the pros and cons of both. He was pretty passionate about desserts. Unfortunately, that was getting in the way of any passion on Finn and Poe's part. "That's what we had last time. That was great."

Poe shushed him, covering his mouth with his hand again. It had been a mistake letting him go free. He was a compulsive talker. "Are there strawberries, dad?"

"I think so. You want strawberry pie? Or strawberry rhubarb, or strawberry cream cheese, or..."

As Kes listed every variation of pie known to man Finn smiled and flipped their positions, reaching down to rub Poe's clit, looking up and shooting him a quick wink. They could probably get away with this.

"Mmhm. Yup. Strawberry pie. Strawberry pie sounds great." Poe agreed, letting out a soft gasp as Finn sank all the way inside. He gave Finn's chest a halfhearted swat, negating that disapproval when he dropped his legs open, squeezing Finn's biceps as he started to bounce, trying to keep things discreet.

"...Or we could make cake with the strawberries. That could be nice..."

Poe let out a quiet moan, bouncing on top of Finn. He really couldn't help it anymore. “ _Dad._ ” he breathed, looking down at Finn and giving his nipple a vengeful tug. There would be stern words with him later. After they both came, of course. And cuddled for awhile. “We’ll talk about it later, okay?”

"Uh." Kes blinked, frowning when he heard the rather suspicious squeal of a bedspring. Wait, was Finn in there? And were they doing what he thought they were doing? He wouldn't be surprised, considering their track record...

"I'll start the burgers, then." he stepped back, but he couldn't help but be a little sly about this. "Bye, Finn."

"Bye, Mr. Dam-" Finn's voice was interrupted by the sound of Poe clamping his hand over his mouth. Well, that answered the question Kes had had about what they were doing. He snorted and left them to it, flushing bright red and trying to concentrate on anything else once he heard a telltale squeaking. He didn't want to think about what was happening behind that door...

**Author's Note:**

> it's late at night and im tired and wrote this don't think too hard about it


End file.
